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This Is Why Eating Healthy Is Hard (Time Travel Dietician)

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–  [Narrator] Gadoosh. (classic rock)

(toilet flushing) 

 –  Oh, you’re terrible!

(portal opening) 

 –  Wait! (gasping) Stop! Don’t eat that food! 

 –  Who are you? What are you doing in our house? 

 –  I’m from the future. I’m here to warn you, don’t eat that food. 

 –  Why not? 

 –  The eggs, they’re full of cholesterol. 

 –  What? 

 –  Cholesterol it, it clogs up your arteries. Eating even just one egg can dramatically increase your chance of heart attack. Don’t eat eggs! 

 –  Oh, my God. Thank you. 

 –  You’re welcome. Godspeed. (dramatic music) (portal closing) 

 –  Well I guess I better take those eggs.

(portal opening) 

 –  Wait! Stop! 

 –  [Woman] You’re back! 

 –  Yeah, we were wrong about the eggs. 

 –  Well it turns out there’s two types of cholesterol. 

 –  How? There’s good cholesterol and bad cholesterol, and eggs actually have both. So you can eat eggs but just don’t eat the egg yolks. So stick with the egg whites. 

 –  Yes, thank you. (intense music) 

 –  Godspeed! (portal closing) (portal opening) Wait! We were wrong about the eggs.

 –  Again? 

 –  Yeah. Yeah, okay so it turns out that the amount of cholesterol in a food doesn’t actually affect how much cholesterol ends up in your blood. The eggs are probably fine. In fact we sort of don’t even know what… cholesterol is. But the steak! You can’t eat the steak! 

 –  Why not? 

 –  Turns out that red meat increases your chance of heart attack. You have to cut out red meat. So no steak! 

 –  Thank you. (intense music) 

 –  Godspeed. 

 –  What, no.

No steak, Mister. 

 –  Wait. (portal opening) 

 –  Wait! We were wrong about the steak! It’s the toast. Man was not meant to eat bread. 

 –  What do you mean man was not meant to eat bread? 

 –  Well if you think about it, human beings should really only be eating what our paleolithic ancestors ate. So, therefore, no bread, no toast. 

 –  How do you know what our paleolithic ancestors ate? 

 –  Well, we just have to guess.

Right, I mean we don’t have any way of knowing wha-

(portal closing)

(sighing) (portal opening) 

 –  Woo! Okay, went back to the paleolithic. They are… not doing well. I don’t know what we were thinking. If anything we should all be eating a lot more bread. Geez! So I guess just um, ignore everything I’ve said and exercise. 

 –  Exercise, okay. 

 –  Yeah. You guys could probably use it. You’ve been sitting just sitting here for the last 35 years.

 –  It’s been five minutes. 

 –  Right. Time travel. Alright, well, Godspeed! (dramatic music) (portal opening) Turns out it’s genetic. Doesn’t matter whether you exercise or what you eat.

I’m sorry I ruined your meal.

 –  I need 10 minutes. Woo! 

 –  Do you want some eggs? 

 –  I’d love some.

441 words

Summary

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Useful Expressions

terrible   非常に悪い
Oh, you’re terrible!

warn   警告する/注意を与える
I’m from the future. I’m here to warn you, don’t eat that food. 

clog up   詰まらせる/ふさぐ
artery   動脈
Cholesterol it, it clogs up your arteries.

dramatically   劇的に/著しく
heart attack   心臓発作
Eating even just one egg can dramatically increase your chance of heart attack.

godspeed   旅の道中の安全と成功を祈る
You’re welcome. Godspeed.

the amount of ….   ~の量
Yeah, okay so it turns out that the amount of cholesterol in a food doesn’t actually affect how much cholesterol ends up in your blood.

in fact   実際は/事実上
In fact we sort of don’t even know what… cholesterol is.

turn out   (~であることが)わかる
Turns out that red meat increases your chance of heart attack. 

not meant to   あり得ない/ありそうにない
Man was not meant to eat bread.

paleolithic   旧石器時代の
ancestor  祖先
Well if you think about it, human beings should really only be eating what our paleolithic ancestors ate.

genetic   遺伝の
Turns out it’s genetic. Doesn’t matter whether you exercise or what you eat.

ruin   だめにする/台なしにする
I’m sorry I ruined your meal.

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