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The David Beckham Statue Prank

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David Beckham, oh goodness me! Pure genius!

The 2019 LA Galaxy season is gonna kick off with a huge ceremony honoring their greatest ever player, David Beckham. To celebrate his career with the Galaxy, the team has built a brand new statue of David, which they’ll unveil for the first time, right here, at this stadium in front of 25,000 people. Now, David’s a good friend of mine, and when I heard that he hasn’t seen the fully finished statue yet, I thought it might be fun to switch out the real statue with one that we made a little less flattering.

(audience laughing) In order to pull this off, our Props Department had to find the right balance between realistic and absolutely terrible. His biggest things, he said, when he saw the first sort of mock, was that he said that he thought the chin was too big, and the butt was too big. This is what I’m thinking. (audience laughing) ‘Cause I think that is David Beckham, really. We can go bigger on the chin, you know? (light hip hop music) After two months of grueling work, we brought the statue to the stadium for a private unveiling for David.

The statue is finished, and here it is right here, in all it’s glory. ‘Cause everybody knows David Beckham’s smile and his three great teeth. Look at the ass that’s been put on David Beckham’s statue right now. This is the angle to really appreciate it. Now, David thinks that he’s coming here to this loading dock for a final, last-minute preview of the statue, before it gets moved outside for the official unveiling. What David doesn’t know is that everyone here is an actor, and we’ve placed hidden cameras all over.

We’ve also sent an LA Galaxy film crew with David. He thinks it’s for LA Galaxy Online. It’s not, they’re also working for us. You know, it’s a special moment that I’m gonna be able to share with friends, family. So I’m excited. (tense funk music) Okay, we’re hearing that the car is pulling up. Action stations. [Female Assistant] Hello! Hi, big man! All right, this is it. Hi buddy, how are ya? Good. David’s always happy to meet with fans, but let’s see how he reacts to actors posing as fans, who’s only job is to annoy him.

This, hey Tom, how are you? Yeah it’s amazing, it’s good to see you again. Yeah, Tom, David Beckham. Hey, how are you? The best way to insult a Man United legend is to get his team wrong. And we’re gonna do just that. Beck, when you were starting your career, back in your Man City days, (audience laughing) it kinda paralleled my career a lot, because we’re about the same age. Man United days. I’m sorry? Man United. I’m so stupid. (laughing) It’s the same city, different colors.

Keep calling him Dave, he hates being called Dave. When I told my wife this morning that I was gonna be meeting Dave Beckham, she lost it. Oh really? Tom and Dave Beckham, I love it, I love that. So nice to meet you, Dave. Thank you so much, Dave. By the way, you can call me David. My mom’s the only person that calls me Dave. Oh, I’m sorry. That’s okay, I don’t mind Dave, if you wanna call me Dave. I’ve been called many things. Dave it is. Thank you so much. (audience laughing) Yeah pleasure, it was really good to see you again. Dave Beckham, it’s incredible. Interesting character, isn’t he? (laughing)

 This is LA Galaxy President, Chris Klein, a former team mate of David’s and someone he really trusts.

Before we do the statue, I just wanna give you a first peek of the highlight reel that we’re gonna show on Saturday. So when you’re on field, this is what everyone will see at half time, so. Okay, great. It’s all David Beckham’s career highlights, but we’ve put in a few lowlights. (audience laughing) If you could roll it. (rock music) David Beckham, oh goodness me! [Fellow Commentator] Here comes David Beckham. (audience laughing) Oh God, is that a red card? (laughing) Really cool, so yeah. (clapping) You need to go, he needs you now. You need to get out there, go, go, go, go, okay.

Now it’s time to send in the actor playing our sculptor, comedian Maz Jobrani. David met with the real sculptor three months ago in Chicago so let’s hope he doesn’t realize it’s not the same guy. Ah, Omri made it out, I wanted him– Hey man, how are you mate? How’re you doing, all right? Good to see you again. To have a chance to say a few words. Hey, how are you? Good to see you again. Has he bought it? He’s bought it, hasn’t he? As you all know, I’ve done some sculptures of some of the most amazing athletes, you know? But no one has been, to me, as iconic as David Beckham.

Really. Thank you. So without further ado, okay. David Beckham, we want you to meet David Beckham.

(audience laughing) (clapping)

(laughing) David, I want you to look at, on the different angles, over here. It’s slightly different than what it was when I saw it in Chicago, though. Yeah I know, but you know, we had the conversation and I believe that what I did here is I’ve tried to capture you in motion, do you see? You know, I mean… (audience laughing) Yeah, but when we spoke in Chicago, there’s was catch me in motion, but also making me, I mean, look at my chin.

(audience laughing) Look at this other angle. Come here, come here. This is a better angle maybe, no? It doesn’t really look nothing like me, though. Look at my eyes. (audience laughing) Yeah your eyes, like, if you look when you kick the ball with like the– You know what, the only thing that’s good is the hair, and that’s about it. (laughing) You do have great hair, I agree, too. Omri, I know, but look at my bum. Look at my arse. Yep, again, I’m telling you, that’s in motion, that’s how it looks. It definitely doesn’t look like that. I mean, no, yeah, but… (laughing) Chris, are you happy with this? What do you think? What’s that? What do you think? Really? Yeah, but you don’t like it? I think it looks amazing. What do you think? He’s (beep) laughing, knobhead.

I mean it, I don’t, really don’t see how this can go out.

He’s being so polite, even though it’s terrible. Well let me ask you, okay let me ask you, what do you like, like what are the good things about it that you like? How can you change it in this short amount of time? We can’t change it. I’m not saying I’m gonna change it, I’m just saying what do you like. There’s no way that can go in front of the stadium, there’s no way. My parents are coming over from London. My wife’s coming. I mean look how, but look how long my arms are. (audience laughing) I honestly look like Stretch Armstrong. I mean maybe if you stand back or something. Maybe just a little bit.

I mean, I’m gonna have to stand back right behind the van. Yeah. All right.

Do you want me to tell ’em to stop? Hey you guys, I want you to stop filming. He’s just asked for all the cameras to go off, the LA Galaxy cameras that we’re using. He’s so angry. (laughing) My wife’s coming over. It’s lucky my kids are not coming over. ‘Cause if my kids were to see this, I think they’d just cry, to be honest. Honestly, I don’t want to offend you in any way. It’s okay, I– But this is such a big thing for me. I know it’s a big thing for you, Chris. If you can make any improvements, we have to at least put it somewhat in place.

You’ll approve it before we do anything, but we have to– But how can you do that? It’s taken a year to get to this point. If we wanna do, is there anything you can do to? I mean I think I can– There’s no way that can go at the front of the stadium. It’s embarrassing, have you… Look, look, I think he’s gonna go. Guys, he’s gonna leave. Cue forklift. Okay, let’s move. Yes, should I go? Film reaction! Where are you gonna move it to? Back to the studio? You’ve probably done me a favor there. Oh my God, what’s happened? Oh, you (beep). (laughing) (beep) You (beep).

(beep) That’s terrible. That’s just terrible. (beep) You (beep). (laughing) You (beep). (beep) Oh my gosh! Thank God for that! Oh my God! David Beckham, everybody! (cheering) Sorry, I meant to say Dave Beckham, everybody! There he goes. David Beckham, back to you in the studio! (audience cheering)

Our huge thanks to David Beckham for being such a great sport. We’ll be right back with Rita Wilson, Jason Mitchell, and Kevin Nealon. Everybody! (audience cheering)

1534 Words

Summary

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Useful Expressions

goodness me!   えっ!/まぁ!
David Beckham, oh goodness me!

is gonna is going to  (未来に)~をする
kick off   始める
honor   (人を)尊敬する
The 2019 LA Galaxy season is gonna kick off with a huge ceremony honoring their greatest ever player, David Beckham.

brand new   新品の/真新しい
unveil   公開する
for the first time   初めて
in front of   ~の前に/~の面前で
To celebrate his career with the Galaxy, the team has built a brand new statue of David, which they’ll unveil for the first time, right here, at this stadium in front of 25,000 people.

switch out   ~を取り替える
flattering   実物より良く見せる
Now, David’s a good friend of mine, and when I heard that he hasn’t seen the fully finished statue yet, I thought it might be fun to switch out the real statue with one that we made a little less flattering.

in order to   ~するために
pull off   成功する/成し遂げる/達成する
realistic   現実的な
In order to pull this off, our Props Department had to find the right balance between realistic and absolutely terrible.

sort of   多少~/いくらか~
mock   模擬の/演習の/模造の
chin   下あご
butt   けつ
His biggest things, he said, when he saw the first sort of mock, was that he said that he thought the chin was too big, and the butt was too big.

grueling work ( = very hard work)  過酷な仕事
unveiling   除幕(式)
After two months of grueling work, we brought the statue to the stadium for a private unveiling for David.

in all it’s glory 
The statue is finished, and here it is right here, in all it’s glory.

ass   けつ
Look at the ass that’s been put on David Beckham’s statue right now.

appreciate   ~の良さがわかる
This is the angle to really appreciate it.

loading dock   トラックが荷物の積み降ろしをする場所
last-minute   直前の/土壇場の
preview   内見/内覧
Now, David thinks that he’s coming here to this loading dock for a final, last-minute preview of the statue, before it gets moved outside for the official unveiling.

actor   役者/俳優
hidden   隠された
What David doesn’t know is that everyone here is an actor, and we’ve placed hidden cameras all over.

pull up   (車を)止める
Okay, we’re hearing that the car is pulling up. Action stations.

buddy   (呼び掛け)きみ/おまえ
Hi buddy, how are ya?

annoy   いらつかせる
David’s always happy to meet with fans, but let’s see how he reacts to actors posing as fans, who’s only job is to annoy him.

insult   侮辱する
The best way to insult a Man United legend is to get his team wrong.

parallel   類似する/匹敵する
Beck, when you were starting your career, back in your Man City days, it kinda paralleled my career a lot, because we’re about the same age.

stupid   馬鹿な/おろかな
I’m so stupid.

hate   ひどく嫌う/嫌悪する
Keep calling him Dave, he hates being called Dave.

by the way   ところで
By the way, you can call me David.

(I don’t mind) mind   気にする/嫌がる
That’s okay, I don’t mind Dave, if you wanna call me Dave.

pleasure   どういたしまして
Yeah pleasure, it was really good to see you again.

incredible   信じられない
Dave Beckham, it’s incredible.

former   前の/以前の 
This is LA Galaxy President, Chris Klein, a former team mate of David’s and someone he really trusts.

peek   のぞき見
reel  
Before we do the statue, I just wanna give you a first peek of the highlight reel that we’re gonna show on Saturday.

It’s time to ….   ~する時間だ。
Now it’s time to send in the actor playing our sculptor, comedian Maz Jobrani.

iconic   アイコン的な
But no one has been, to me, as iconic as David Beckham.

slightly   わずかに/少し
It’s slightly different than what it was when I saw it in Chicago, though.

conversation   会話
capture   ~を撮る
in motion   動いている
Yeah I know, but you know, we had the conversation and I believe that what I did here is I’ve tried to capture you in motion, do you see?

bum   けつ
Omri, I know, but look at my bum.

arse   けつ
Look at my arse.

definitely   絶対に
It definitely doesn’t look like that.

amazing   素晴らしい
I think it looks amazing.

knobhead   ばか/愚か者
He’s (beep) laughing, knobhead.

polite   礼儀正しい
terrible   非常に悪い
He’s being so polite, even though it’s terrible.

let someone ….   (人に)….をさせる
Well let me ask you, okay let me ask you, what do you like, like what are the good things about it that you like?

amount of time   時間
How can you change it in this short amount of time?

There’s no way ….   ….の仕様がない
There’s no way that can go in front of the stadium, there’s no way.

come over   やってくる
My parents are coming over from London.

wife   /奥さん
My wife’s coming.

honestly   正直に/率直に
I honestly look like Stretch Armstrong.

have to ….   ….しないといけない
I mean, I’m gonna have to stand back right behind the van.

go off   停止する/~の使用を中止する
He’s just asked for all the cameras to go off, the LA Galaxy cameras that we’re using.

to be honest   正直に言うと/はっきり言って
‘Cause if my kids were to see this, I think they’d just cry, to be honest.

offend   怒らせる/傷つける
not …. in any way   (否定文で)決して~ない
Honestly, I don’t want to offend you in any way.

such   とても~な
But this is such a big thing for me.

make an improvement   改善する/改良する
at least   少なくとも
If you can make any improvements, we have to at least put it somewhat in place.

approve   ~を良いと認める/~に同意する
You’ll approve it before we do anything, but we have to–

embarrassing   恥ずかしい気持ちにさせる
There’s no way that can go at the front of the stadium. It’s embarrassing, have you…

do someone a favor   (~の)願いをきく/(~の)頼みをきく
You’ve probably done me a favor there.

huge thanks to    ~に多大な感謝をする
Our huge thanks to David Beckham for being such a great sport.

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